The most expensive sausages in the world

On Saturday I hosted a moth night BBQ. This was not some sort of cruel bush tucker challenge. It was in fact a night of boozing in my garden with 16 or so fellow birders and friends followed by a moth trapping session.

The day did not start well. Rather than buy sausages and burgers from my local supermarket I opted for the tastier option of using my local butchers. They may be a bit more expensive but its worth it. Unfortunately, as it turned out my trip to the butchers didn't turn out to be "worth it". I parked my car as usual and walked the 100 yards to the butchers. In a time quicker than Bradders could be in his car from the time his pager mega alerted, I had my car clamped! I was away from my car for less than 5 minutes. W*nkers. Anyway after much swearing at my friendly tattoed clampers, I paid the £300 extortion fee and they got back on their horses, shouted Yee Ha and rode off into the sunset to mug some other defenceless law abiding citizen. I have since complained to Trading Standards and contacted my local councillor and MP. Trading Standards were worse than useless, my councillor (not that sort of councillor!) was been very sympathetic and my MP James Double Barreled La-De-Dah Tory Boy, is yet to acknowledge my email, but to be fair he is probably busy draining his moat or getting his cravat and smoking jacket dry cleaned at my expense so I'll give him another day or two. You'll just have to wait and see which one of these pillars of our great British establishments actually does something to protect those of us who are law abiding etc against the scummy, pikey b*stards of our society who seem to be taking over and getting away with it. I'm sorry if you find the term "pikey" offensive but the home-made tattoes and hedgehog cooked in clay sandwiches gave them away. By the way has anyone seen my fishing tackle ?

Anyway onto a positive note. As the light faded, the moth trap was set up (Thanks H). Bellies full of £25 burgers, £15 sausages and £4.99 red wine we watched and waited hoping for a something exciting, and eventually we got just that; a glorious Red Underwing. (photo courtesy of Hawky), I was busy urinating in a wardrobe somewhere I think. Needless to say, the hangover was not great the next morning. Thank God there was nothing that needed twitching as I am not sure I could have got out of the skip that early in the morning.